Sunday, February 27, 2011

In the Sub-World Kitchenette

"What about the Sellwood Kitchen? Where will you cook?".

We were asked these questions a number of times before we moved. It does indeed seem scandalous that a couple of wanna-be food bloggers would move into a kitchenless situation.

However, it turns out our little kitchenette is highly functional. Our hot plate, like, cooks stuff. And the mini fridge holds stuff. Crazy, right? Let's take a tour!

I can't reach the top shelf but Adam says he's going to buy me a vintage step stool.

The mini-fridge. I gasped when I first set eyes on it, thinking I'd never fit any food inside, but it's great, we're forced not to waste, and it actually holds quite a lot. It even has a REAL freezer, not like those freezer shelves that aren't much colder than the fridge. Mayo, beer, butter. Perfect.

Adam helped me decorate with some things that fit the decor of the basement better: Vintage canisters, a white toaster, an old pitcher instead of my cast iron red utensil holder (even though I'm into that sort of thing). He knows what he's doing. I like them, even if I can't reach them.

I'm learning so much about crock-pot cooking and one pot meals. But in case I need two pots, I have this handy little gizmo, and I love it!

One drawback, the kitchenette is dangerously close to the bathroom. But at least there's a fan in the bathroom...

Well, there isn't much to say about that. Pour me a drink!

Now, I'm going to move this party upstairs to the big kids' kitchen to help Adam prepare Josh's birthday feast, but we'll blog about that later.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Making Our Dreams Come True

So what I was saying, I was saying the new place (you know, the basement) reminds me of Laverne & Shirley's apartment, what with that daylight window lettin' 'em know when Lenny & Squiggy was heading down (though they never knew -- them two just burst in whenever they pleased: "Hello!"). But we have this daylight window, too. Surely there's another parallel, right? Well, yeah, on account of us both living in Milwaukee. Well, they live in Milwaukee (two "E's"), Wisconsin, while we're in Milwaukie ("IE"), Oregon. Go know, right?

I wished I wrote dis post earlier when Eddie Mekka was in town. Whaddya mean, "Eddie Who?" Carmine Ragusa, The Big Ragu. He was in town (Portland) recently for the Broadway Across America production of "Grease". (Mekka did not play Danny Zuko -- Kerrist! He's gotta be in his 60s!)

"You know I go from rags to riches!" That being what he sung (In "L&S", not "Grease".) We're trying to do the same (saving money, living frugal). I think it's going pretty well, so far (it's easy to save money when you've been home sick for the last month, as we have).

So, anyway, see we've got that daylight window like Laverne & Shirley (not to mention our own real live Boo Boo Kitty, except he's a real kitty, and he's a jerk, but we got another one, too, who disappears under the bed before you can even get out the other "Boo").

Oh, and here's our window view. Jeez, it's just plain awful being at ground level.


'Twas once a stereo cabinet...





Well, almost done. Just add a case of Charles Shaw wine (half Chardonnay, half Shiraz).

Saturday, February 12, 2011


These special army forces have issued a joke book called "Green & Bear It."

Who are the Green Berets?

That's not true. I'm just making up Jeopardy questions because we're all playing Wii Jeopardy! in the basement. We live in the basement now, remember? We're settling in, getting into routines. It's a Saturday night and everyone's home. Adam, Josh, Erin & I watched the latest episode of "Portlandia" on OnDemand, and "An Idiot Abroad" on the DVR. Enough TV! (Kee-rist! I never thought I'd say that!) Let's play a game! says one of the four of us. Turn on the Wii, suggests one of the other three.

So Wii Jeopardy! (am I adding the exclamation remark or is that part of the game's name?) is inserted.

The fellas played first (only 3 at a time). Adam trailed the whole game, but at Final Jeopardy, we all did true Daily Doubles (I know it's not called that at the end), and only Adam answered correctly, so he won, in true American fashion.

Next game: Erin takes my place. Hey, Adam, "Seward's Icebox" -- Minnesota? Please...

So I'm blogging, like a million other nerds across this great nation, and biting my tongue as all the answers flash into my brain's trivia center (well, not all of them).

Let's check in on the current game: Adam's in the lead, followed by Josh, then Erin. But neither Josh nor Adam knew the present answer was "Who is Elton John?" Erin asks them both to revoke their membership...

Josh keeps hitting his wine glass with his Wii strap, so when he goes to answer, a clear "DING" issues from his area.

We learn that Pinchas Zuckerman plays the violin. In Canada.

I'm growing bored of this. Not living in the basement -- that's purty cool. Just tired of Wii Jeopardy. But just for tonight. I want a chocolate-covered graham cracker. Of course, I have a package of 'em.

These cookies are next to the Oatmeal Raisins.

What is Mike's Snack Cabinet?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Hellhounds Up My Tail

Erin and I have two cats -- they're dumb and jerks and really sweet and stuff. Often they stare at us from high perches like fuzzy gargoyles. They bug the shit out of me at 4 in the morning when it occurs to them they're starving to death. I'm getting used to it.

This is not about the cats -- it's about...THE HOUNDS!

Narrator: Who has not shivered at the mention of the hounds of hell? Myriad mythologies regale us with tales of these toothsome apparitions and slobbering beasts. Cerberus, the three-headed dog guarding the gates of Hades, likely will spring first to mind. Vanquished only by Heracles himself (his twelfth and final labor or "labour")!

Central American folklore tells of Cadejo, a big black dog haunting late night travelers of country roads.

Black Shuck, the Doom Dog, roams the gloamy coastlines of Britain.

Even Sherlock Holmes encounters these "devil dogs" in the case of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" (a story I first encountered in my youth as "Sherlock Sholmes and the Hound of the Baskeballs") in the Mad Magazine paperback The Brothers Mad).

Well, Adam & Josh's dogs, Emma & Jack (wasn't that a Meg Ryan film?) don't really fit into that supernatural category. My experience with these hounds can be summed up in two words:

Sonsabitches! Bumpuses!

I feel like the Old Man in "A Christmas Story" whenever Jack and Emma come barreling down the stairs (well, Jack barrels; Emma lumbers).

Shut the bedroom door! Hide the kitties! Indeed, these two species have only met through the crack in the door, or when cat and dog have been restrained. But someday, the twain shall meet!

For now, I get tail-whipped in the goolies, while Erin gets daily crotch inspections thanks to Dr. Jack's probing snout (Note to all female visitors: Jack is accepting new patients...always).

Still, just like our dumb cats, the hounds are sweet and I have grown to love them. But for chrissakes, pups, get outta my ass!